


The Problem with Bernard

by OceansGratitude



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 12:33:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12342789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceansGratitude/pseuds/OceansGratitude
Summary: "So apparently the only why I can attract a girl is to literally be Megamind."





	The Problem with Bernard

**Author's Note:**

> Posted this on FF.net a while ago in a series called "You Don't Know What's Good For Bad." But I realized my stories will probably get more views if I post them separately, and on AO3. See, I'm learning ;) If these go over well, I might start writing again!

“Yeah… So apparently the only way I can attract a girl is to literally be Megamind.”

As his mother chuckled and warbled contrived encouragements over the phone, Bernard leaned, groaning, into his kitchen sink. “Uh huh. Thanks mom,” he droned. “Love you,” and hung up. He dried the last of the dishes, washed his hands once, twice… And then shoved his head under the stream of water, shaking it loosely. Uuuugggghhh... So it was his face? That Megamind had used to woo that reporter chick? Literally used his image as a mask… And it worked?

Shutting off the tap, he flipped back his hair, sending water splatting across the kitchen. He shook again but his head was not clearer. That fish guy left a number. Did he even want to call? Why the crap would Megamind choose him? Why? No one liked him! He was so…

Bernard found himself in front of his bathroom mirror, frowning, his wet hair still dripping down his face. Oh yeah. Uh huh. What a freaking hunk. He looked like he had just been through a washing machine. Which he had, actually. Just a few hours ago. He still hadn't changed. Why would he? He was clean.

He tried for a smile. It was a sincere effort. Now he kinda looked like a pound puppy. According to reports, Roxanne Ritchi had kissed Megamind while he was wearing this face. That attractive, famous, well-to-do lady had looked at this face and thought: Yep, that looks good, what a cool guy, I’d sure like to kiss that. And then she did. Proven fact. Already happened. The crap…?

But she had already… He'd met her before. For interviews and stuff about Megamind. And she'd been nice, but in that I-feel-sorry-for-you-and-everyone-around-you kind of way. The chances of romance were zero. So what had Megamind done that changed that?

It really was his personality wasn't it?

 


End file.
